German Wedding Gifts: Part 4 of German Weddings

German wedding gifts are similar to wedding gifts that you would find in North America.  Gift certificates and cash being especially popular for couples who have been on their own for a while and have already bought the requisite toaster.  J.P. didn't want to give cash at the German wedding we recently attended so we decided to get the couple a gift certificate for an outdoor adventure course since they're an active couple and we thought it would be fun.   Great, a gift certificate and a card, that was easy! 

Many of the German wedding gifts came with flowers such as this one.

 J.P. kept saying that we should wrap up the gift certificate in ropes hanging from some small trees or something to this effect.  Frankly, the idea was lost on me, I didn't see why we couldn't just put the gift certificate in the envelope with the card and be done with it.  Besides, at most weddings in Canada, they have a box for the cards so if no one was going to see it anyway, what was the point of making a big fuss about it?  I assumed that Germans being as practical as they are, this would also be the case at German weddings.  I was wrong.  

This German wedding gift was my favorite.  I loved the winter theme and guessed it had something to do with skiing since  the couple loves to ski. 

As we entered the German wedding reception, much to my surprise we saw the gift table filled with very creative arrangements  - all containing a card and presumbly either cash or a gift certificate.  Oops.  Setting our card down beside  these beautifully decorated cards arrangements our gift suddenly felt rather inadequate.  I then understood what J.P. was getting at earlier, but I was surprised since the arrangements while very cute, didn't seem very practical.  I guess German practicality does not apply to German weddings - note to self!    We were quite relieved when we left the German wedding to see that there were a couple of other stand alone cards with no arrangement either.  Whew, glad we weren't the only ones, and I'll definitely be better prepared for the next German wedding I attend!

If you missed the first 3 parts of German weddings see:
Getting Engaged to a German:  Part 1 of German Weddings
German Wedding Ceremony:  Part 2 of German Weddings
German Wedding Reception & Dance:  Part 3 of German Weddings 

German Weddings, the Reception and Dance: Part 3 of German Weddings

At first glance the reception at German weddings is very similar to wedding receptions in North America.  A nice meal is served, speeches from the bride and groom and the bride and groom's family are made, and the newlyweds kiss when glasses are clinked with a spoon, but first impressions can be deceiving.

Seated at the head table with the bride and groom are the bride and groom's parents and grandparents.  Since there is no wedding party to begin with, there is no need to seat them.  I really like this idea of honoring the family and this is likely a German wedding tradition  that J.P. and I will do at our own Canadian-German wedding in Canada next year.

We also loved the heart shaped pretzels that were served at a German wedding between the ceremony and the reception. 

The other notable difference is that there is no emcee. Prior to attending a German wedding I asked J.P. if he had any ideas about who we should ask to be our emcee.  He didn't see why we would need an emcee, since in Germany the couple does this themselves.  Indeed this was the case at the German wedding we attended and it surprisingly worked quite well.  We're still undecided on this one since I like the idea of an emcee but as many of our guests speak only English or German, not both, it could be tricky to find a bilingual one.

As with many weddings, the real fun begins after dinner when the dancing starts.  The Vienna Waltz is the song of choice at most German weddings and was the case at the German wedding we recently attended.  It is a beautiful dance and we've decided that this will be our first song at our Canadian-German wedding. 

Surprise, Germans are actually very good dancers.  They certainly put me to shame with the lively Discofox, especially the groom's German granny!

Next came the real surprise with a dance, I had never heard of, the Discofox, but it is a very popular dance in Germany and Switzerland.  The Discofox is a lively dance that was repeated many times throughout the night and frequently to English pop songs.  Much to my surprise, not only are Germans good dancers,  it was the aged 60+ people in the crowd that were burning up the dance floor and doing a mighty good job of it to I might add.  Even the groom's 90 year old granny gave it a go and was surprisingly agile.  Watching granny Discofox to Britney Spears was one of the highlights of this German wedding!  While I loved watching, I really wanted to dance, but unfortunately had no idea how to do the Discofox.  Eventually we just danced "freestyle" to Banarama's "Venus" while everyone else disco foxed around us.  I felt highly uncultured and kept hoping the "Chicken Dance" would come on so I could strut my stuff, but no such luck!    If you are going to a German wedding, I highly recommend learning the Discofox before you go since Germans can dance quite well and you don't want them putting you to shame!.  See the Discofox in action.  I plan to turn our living room into a dance floor this year as I learn the Vienna Waltz and the Discofox! 

Have you heard of the Discofox?  What has been your experience with this dance?  Please feel free to share your comments below.

See also: 
Getting Engaged to a German:  Part 1 of German Weddings
German Wedding Ceremony:  Part 2 of German Weddings
German Wedding Gifts:  Part 4 of German Weddings

German Wedding Ceremony: Part 2 of German Weddings

The German wedding ceremony is part 2 of a 4 part series on German Weddings.  All German weddings must first begin with a civil ceremony at the town hall.  This is usually followed by a German wedding ceremony in the church in which the bride wears a traditional white dress and the groom a tux or nice suit, very similar to weddings in North America.  However, when the wedding rings are exchanged, most Germans wear their wedding bands on their third finger on their right hand, instead of their left hand.  We've decided that J.P. will wear his wedding band on his right hand, while I'll wear mine on my left hand, a blending of Canadian and German customs. 

Unlike weddings in North America, German weddings have no attendants so no need to worry about who to choose for brides maids or groomsmen.  At German weddings, the bride and groom each have a witness, but they do not stand up with them in the German wedding ceremony.  This explains why when I kept asking J.P. who was going to be his best man he got a confused look on his face.  Our Canadian-German wedding will be held in Canada, but we have decided to do this the German way and forgo attendants.  For the record, he is going to ask his mom to be his witness....awwww :).

The German couple of a wedding we recently attended arrived together in this car

Another big difference between German weddings and North American weddings is that in German weddings the couple usually arrives together and walks down the aisle together.  I explained to J.P. that in North America it was considered bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding and that we would be sleeping in different rooms the night before.  He thought this was the silliest thing he had ever heard and can't believe that I am serious, but I am.  This is one North American wedding custom I plan to follow.

Similar to weddings in North America, there are flower girls at German weddings and they are the show stealers no matter where they are.  At a wedding I attended in Germany, one of the adorable flower girls dropped her basket of rose petals and was so distraught she couldn't continue her duties.  So cute, although I did feel bad for her.

The happy couple with the fallen flower girl at their feet. 

 Another German wedding custom, that occurs days before the German wedding, is for guests to bring old dishes to break for good luck.  Then the bride and groom clean up the dishes.  J.P. has been at weddings where guests showed up with a truckload of dishes! Although this sounds interesting, I think I would rather just be an observer and not actually have to clean up all those dishes.   J.P. and I have decided not to include this in our Canadian-German wedding due to the logistics involved. 

Breaking dishes is a popular way to wish the bride and groom good luck at German weddings

One German wedding custom, unfamiliar to most North Americans, that we will including is the log sawing.  Immediately after the ceremony, the couple has to saw a log in half working together with one saw.  This symbolizes that working together can accomplish difficult tasks and is to serve as a reminder when the couple faces challenges in the future.  This is a Bavarian wedding custom and one that J.P. is not very familiar with (not coming from Bavaria), but one that we think would be fun to include. 

Log sawing is popular at German weddings since it demonstrates the importance of working together

What other German wedding traditions do you know of or what has been your experience attending a German wedding?

See also  Getting Engaged to a German:  Part 1 of German Weddings
German Weddings, the Reception and Dance:  Part 3 of German Weddings 
German Wedding Gifts:  Part 4 of German Weddings

Getting Engaged to a German: Part 1 of German Weddings

Getting engaged to a German is the first of a four part post on German Weddings.  Getting engaged to a German holds different significance in Germany than it does in North America.  In North America, getting engaged is a big deal, in Germany not so much (although the German wedding is a big deal of course).  We first came across this when dealing with German Immigration.  We asked if there was an Engagement Visa as there is in the U.S., but there's no such thing in Germany.  Either you're married or you're not and we were not.


The other difference is that Germans generally don't have engagement rings.  Earlier when the couple is dating, the guy may have given the girl a promise ring, (a much smaller ring than a typical engagement ring) but when he asks her to marry him, there will likely be no engagement ring.  This is different than in North America and sparked some interesting discussions between J.P. and myself.  This past year he wanted to buy me a promise ring for Christmas.  I really didn't want a promise ring as I don't wear much jewellery and thought we would be getting engaged soon and that an engagement ring would be enough.  At first, he took offense to this, saying a German girl would be thrilled to get a promise ring.  I pointed out the fact that I'm Canadian, not German and that promise rings weren't very popular with the 30 something crowd in Canada. He relented. 

Initially he wasn't so sure that I "needed" an engagement ring since we would be living in Germany where engagement rings are not common, but when he saw that all my friends  did indeed have engagement rings along with their wedding bands, he realized that this was indeed a common thing in Canada.  And as I  pointed out that even though we would be living in Germany, I would still be very much a Canadian.   He seemed to understand this logic and I am now happily wearing a sparkly engagement ring.

J.P. was true to his word though, when I arrived in Germany, I was busy checking everyone's fingers for engagement rings, and he was right, they are not popular here at all.  He said that most Germans wouldn't  assume my ring was an engagement ring, since they're not common.   Regardless of whether anyone but the two of us knows what the ring represents, I'm happy that this is one Canadian custom we adopted for our own German wedding next year. What has been your experience with German engagements?

See also:
German Wedding Ceremony.  Part 2 of German Weddings
German Weddings, the Reception and Dance.  Part 3 of German Weddings
German Wedding Gifts:  Part 4 of German Weddings